On Saturday, I had the privilege to hear child psychologist, Louise Porter speak on the guidance approach to parenting. It was a 3 hour talk and it was really eye opening. The “old” behaviourist approach that includes rewards and punishments is really not working in my house and I’m really hoping to learn and practice and use this technique in our home. I’m hoping to take the Parent Effectiveness Training course when it’s offered again, but for now, we’ll practice with what Louise talked about and suggested as a start.
It was really interesting. I’m not sure if any of you have done the course or have any opinions on it but I have tried some of the techniques already and although it takes a little longer, the struggle with a tantrum-y, whiny toddler seemed to be a little less and easier to deal with. It’s still hard and it’s really hard to stay calm, but I’m hoping to keep getting better at it.
Time-outs didn’t seem to be working and Louise says it’s better before the age of 4 to use time-ins where you stay with your child and just hold them and comfort them until they calm down and are ready to talk. Instead of asking why, you ask what…like, “what can I do to make you feel better”. The main thing that I took out of it is talk to your child like they are just another human being.