For the past week and a half I’ve been on holiday staying with my parents, while my husband travels for work. It’s been fantastic. They help me clean-up, cook meals, watch the baby so I can shower, the list is endless. Would you believe I even finished reading an entire book, cover to cover, in just 4 days? My first full book since W. was born.
BUT, and there’s always a but, there is some tension that arrives in the form of unsolicited advice and actions from the grandpeople. I’m curious to know how everyone else deals with unsolicited/unwanted/conflicting advice.
At the moment, I’m trying hard to pick and choose my battles, this will likely get harder as my little guy gets older. When it comes to feeding, safety, and sleep habits I’ve decided that’s these areas are 100% my territory. I can say no to advice when offered, and stop actions that I feel don’t work or are unsafe/unhealthy. For example don’t give my child dog toys your dog uses (Actually don’t give my child any dog toy period), or no I’m not using puréed food and he will not choke. When it comes to other activities I’ve decided to let things slide, because the battle isn’t worth it. I want my folks and my inlaws to enjoy time with their grandson and not have me micromanaging them. For example if a grandpa wants to watch a bit of TV while holding his grandson then I can let that slide, despite it being a big no no at home.
So far this seems to be working. One set of the grandparents are much more indirect than me, so me saying “no” or “stop that” seems to take them by surprise but I think they are learning. As my kid gets older he’ll probably learn to love the broken rules permitted at his grandparents.
What rules would you keep or let slide with inlaws, grandparents, friends?